Baby Boy.



Only B&W can capture him; Rocco.

Inconveniences.

Not having a car to get around sucks. I feel like a teen all over again.

Dear You.

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say,but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
old memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

First Time For Everything.






































This blows big time, but
the materials are replaceable... I get to live another day.

Weird.

This morning, I've heard this song at three different places.

You're Beautiful

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fu*king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Cool Bumper Sticker

"I Think, So I'm Dangerous."

I'm Sorry.

Recently, one of my co-workers lost his mother-in-law. He and his wife were taking it fairly easy since her health wasn't at the best of condition. It seems they’ve been expecting it to happen. Then a month and a half later, his father went to a hospital for having a heart attack. He told us that they operated on his father and he's doing much better.

Two weeks after, we've received the bad news. His father passed away at the hospital while he was asleep. There were a thick and heavy air circulating this building. I could not imagine what he had to go through. You've lost one of your parents who created you then raised you through all of these years. I've felt very sorry for his loss.

When he showed up at work later that morning, most of us who knew the news went to pay their respect to him. I waited for a few minutes then went to see him at his desk. He was sitting upright and looking at his computer screen; his hand was on the mouse like he wanted to do something or act busy. I didn't know what to say for a while. He looked up at me from his chair, and I hugged him. He was silent, he didn't say a word. I kept patting him on his back and told him that I was sorry. He nodded his head while looking at his computer screen. I've told him his father is in a better place now and he's looking down at his son from the above. He started to let his tears run down on his face... He grabbed my hand then kept pondering it on his chest. Then started to mumble... "Let's do business, let’s do business" (note: this is one of my favorite saying at work. My co-workers love to use it when they are working on deals). He calmed himself down then told me he appreciates.

Sometimes people need others to help out on situations. I'm not saying that I deserve a recognition for what I did. As I noticed many of employees "just" dropping by then saying their "sorry for the lost," I managed to spend a few minutes with him to share my condolences... Then we're in a mutually respecting place where I understand his lost and he appreciates my intention.

Hey Rob, sorry for your lost. I know, you're doing your best to overcome this sadness... Don't forget, all of us are here to help each other when one of us is down...

Rob, let's do business!

Wise Guy.




Dana, thank you for your support.
Once again, you've proven your wisdom.

Gone.

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not all right
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight.



Forget the nonessentials.
It's time put on my business suit.

Wait!

My super superior (a.k.a: ss) hasn't replied yet on my vacation request. I bet he didn't read it yet.. If tomorrow is my day off, and he'll be off on Thursday.. so knowing my luck, I'll get to find out on Friday, even Monday.. Damn, I do have an appointment tomorrow!.. No, you CAN drive in this weather!.. you need to come in tonight so I don't have to on my dayoff.. Ok, you're scare of this weather?.. ok, ok, I'll see you tomorrow.. and you need to be on time.. I need to get my haircut tomorrow.. It will be cold tomorrow.. What's for lunch tomorrow?.. I want to do lunch with her tomorrow.. Or dinner?.. I dunno.. wait, they said it will be freezing at night.. her room stays at 60 degrees.. I do not get blackets to survive that indoor weather.. why am I thinking so much?.. but the room smells awesome.. Cool ass kitty too.. now I'm thinking way too much.. Damn, late again...

I need my vacation processed.

Snow Day.

Man, it's snowing! Well, it's not snowing heavily but I'm excited to see the "first snow day" of the year.

Meaningful Lyrics.

I think, boybands have one of the best lyrics when it comes to a relationship.

Lookin back on the things I've done
I was trying to be someone
I played my part
And kept you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart...

See?

Daily Quote.

All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

idiot.

idiot >noun 1 informal a stupid person. 2 Medicine, archaic a mentally handicapped person.



on Thursday.

me: hey Dana, so the saga continues...

Dana: oh, lord. what's going on?

me: I feel like I'm out of my self lately.

Dana: why?

me: I act different. I guess time does change thing or two.

Dana: (still looking to hear what the f*king saga is) . . . what is the f*king saga?

me: I've been driving her crazy. I mean calls, emails... Dude, I'm not usually like that.

Dana: oh that?

me: yeah. now I feel like an idiot. do you think she'll oversee that?

Dana: (now definitely looking at his screen)... what button do I need to click on?

me: (dude, you suck)... Here, click on that one. I've showed you that since you've started.

Dana: oh, I'm sorry. what did you say a minute ago?

me: (SAGA! SAGA!)... nothing.... Me, the idiot.

Time.

The greatest gift that you can give yourself is
a little bit of your own attention.

-Anthony J. D'Angelo

A time for myself. Much needed.

Wish Finale.

I bet, next time I can vent myself more eloquently.

A wish 2.

I'm getting to the point where am SICK of letting people walk all over me. "What happened to me?", "what's going on with my ass?" Theses are the two common questions that I ask myself lately. However, it's time to get myself together. I'm tired of listening to people who tries to get me corrected. I'm sorry that I didn't express myself correctly, or even tried to hide my feelings. By God if you can let me get my shit together? Furthermore, there are future plans are ahead and I'm left with no choices other than going forward as usual. To the world: whether you're ready or not, I'm going. It's up to you to catch me.

A wish.

I just want to pack my shit up then move. I've been thinking about it for sometime now, and it's getting closer to happening as I'm writing this. Although people are telling me that I'm trying to escape from my life, but how the hell can I escape from my life when I don't have any desire to be the person that I was then wanted to be? I know this post may not make sense, however that's how I feel.

Creep.

When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again...
She's running out
she runs, runs, runs, runs...
runs...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

... 2

My heart aches so much, and it drive me to the point where I cannot stand.